So freaking funny

I have been a Sabrina Matthews fan for about three years, ever since I first caught her Comedy Central performance. Unfortunately, living in Virginia has made it a little difficult to ever see her perform live. After a year or so, I had given up on even looking at her schedule, since the occasional NYC show always happened at some point that I couldn't get out of town. So I'd just settle for re-watching her special on my Tivo periodically.

Then the stars began to align. First, she got a little coverage on Last Comic Standing. Sadly, she didn't make it far, though I wasn't terribly surprised by this. Her jokes require a little IQ to understand, which doomed her on network television. However, seeing her on TV prompted me to take at look at her site again. Lo and behold, she was heading to Norfolk, VA to perform..........on a gay casino riverboat cruise.

Now, deep down, I don't really care whether someone is gay or not. But after a very uncomfortable trip to Miami a few years ago, I wasn't very eager to be stuck on a 3 hour boat cruise with a bunch of gay men. But then I decided that no amount of being treated like a piece of meat could possibly outweigh being able to finally see Sabrina live. Besides, now I'm older, grayer, and about 20 pounds heavier.

Once the show came to an end, I had learned a few things. First of all, I feel so bad for the gay men and women in this area. That was the homeliest looking bunch of men and women I have ever seen. I didn't think any cities were allowed to have that many overweight, ugly, tacky gay men at one time. It was like a fat Village People convention.

Second, I have learned that I am actually capable of acting like an idiot fan. Over the years, I've stumbled across a few actors here and there. But not once did I feel any need to walk up and bother them. Even when I was riding a ferry back from Seattle after a long night of partying and saw Chris Kattan, I just didn't feel any need to stand up and walk over. But put me on a boat with Sabrina Matthews, and I'm right there saying the typical clichés: "I love your performances so much", "I've had your act saved on my Tivo for 3 years", "I'm so glad you were able to make it out here to the boonies", etc.

The final thing I learned is that Sabrina Matthews has to be the funniest comic I've ever had the fortune to see live. I go out of my way to see stand-up any chance I can, from local stuff to people like Ron White and Janeane Garofalo, and none of them made me laugh like she did. It was simply amazing how she handled being on the top of a tiny little riverboat, just a few feet from all the people there. It felt almost like she was just sitting in our living room performing, and she took every quirky thing that could possibly happen on a boat full of gay men in stride. By the end of the show, I thought I was going to pass out from laughing so hard.

The main point of this is that anyone reading this needs to follow the links at the top and go watch her stuff. If you think that is funny, you absolutely need to see her live.